Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
