someone threw a dead crab at me
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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