Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
