it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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