Having a random hookup so left but love u
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Is it because I queefed?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
