that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
