I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
