I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
