Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My vagina is officially offended.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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