Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
