I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
