I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
