remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
