I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
