A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Terrible idea I love it
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
