I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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