I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
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