Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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