take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
