she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
