How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
and she was petting her beer can
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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