i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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