i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Randomize
