you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
