I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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