wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
