Cold hands, warm shart.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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