You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
