Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
