you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
