it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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