I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
