You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
