Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
