My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
