Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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