he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
