just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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