he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
