I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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