i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Of course I have a pirate flag
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