You work out of a Hotel?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
