Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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