The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
