all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
