please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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