Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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