Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
