i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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