grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
